Thursday, November 13, 2008

A little something missing...

So, those who have been following my bridal adventures may have noticed a little something missing from my wedding attire...


The controversial bird cage veil that I loved and The Boy, well The Boy did not, but that I was going to wear anyway because I loved it and it made me smile never made it to the wedding. About a week before the big day I'd had enough with playing bride, dressing up wasn't fun any more and I just wanted to feel like myself. The veil was fun, but it wasn't me. I don't wear veils, brides wear veils but I didn't want to be a Bride any more, I just wanted to be me, marrying the man that I love, in a wedding dress.

In planning the wedding it seemed that becoming a Bride for the day was pretty much a given and as such I had to do the things that turn a normal woman into a Bride - white dress, veil, bouquet, bridesmaids, lacy undies, expensive make up. It seemed that being me wasn't enough, that a woman without all that crap isn't special enough to get married and a week before the wedding I couldn't take it any more. So the veil was ditched and honestly, I was so happy without it. When I looked in the mirror I looked like myself. Sure there was a wedding dress, and a bouquet and two pretty minions with flowers to do my every bidding and that was enough to make me Bride, but those things actually made me a little uncomfortable and I wished that I felt a little more myself, a little less Weddingy. Me in a veil would just have taken the Wedding Game a little too far.

Playing Bride was fun for a while, but I didn't want to play on my wedding day. I was tired of dress up, I just wanted to be me, marrying him. Which as it turns out was quite special enough for both of us.

That's not to say I don't love a veil on other women, veils can be utterly fabulous and if you're comfortable playing Bride then I absolutely say go for it. Even if just for the reason that veils make for the best photos!

Photo by Lillian and Leonard and via the blog.


  1. The veil is beautiful, but i am glad you went with what made you most comfy and most happy! Ultimately, you take away the dress, the shoes and all the little details and I think you should still be able to come away from this day the happiest person on earth... b/c it is about the two of you! :)

  2. I can completely relate to this post. So much about being a "Bride" makes me really uncomfortable... I even wrote a post on not wanting to be stared at on our wedding day! I nixed a veil straightaway for the exact reasons you ended up nixing it: it just felt costume-y and overdone for who I am and what I'm about. I'd like our wedding day to feel as real as possible, and can't quite imagine it that way if I'm surrounded by pounds upon pounds of dress construction and have something covering my face.

    To each her own, and for some of us that means stripping as much "Bride" away as possible.

  3. There is another issue with wearing a veil, if you have one that you must have put into your hairstyle while having it done if for some reason say your MOH sends you to the store to get more bobby pins everyone looks at you as though you've grown a third head.

    It's amazing the reaction you get if you even look like a bride, as though people are afraid you're gonna rip their heads off and start screaming for someone to get you some monogrammed napkins.

  4. Good for you! Your photos so far have been so lovely that I didn't even notice the lack of veil.

  5. I didn't notice that there was a veil "missing," either. Maybe it's because I think a veil would drive me crazy if I were to wear one. (Which is weird, because I like hats just fine, so I know it's not because I'd feel awkward with something on my head.)

    Of course, your shoes may also have been a distraction. ;)

  6. I noticed you didn't wear it and I lurved you without it. I felt more like *you* to me too. <3

  7. I have the same conundrum when I look at my pics. My hair doesn't look quite like my hair. So yeah... I agree.

  8. i love this post. it makes me feel so centered. thank you! you seem so down to earth and lovely.

  9. Amyjean, exactly! Well said!

    Maggie, I completely agree. For some people being a 'Bride' is wonderful, for others it's a fairly uncomfortable experience and we have to do what we can to make sure we feel like ourselves!

    Blablover, heehee! I love seeing someone with a veil on and a completely normal outfit, it's hilarious!

    Sezzy, thank you!

    Kristy, yes, the shoes were definitely a scene stealer!

    East Side, thank you!

    Blind Irish Pirate, it's hard to feel like yourself when you're all weddingy. I have to say I felt like a bit of an idiot in a long lace dress.

    Joanna, awww, thank you! Honestly, I'm fairly hysterical a lot of the time but I have my moments of calm!

  10. Great post. I know exactly what you mean. I said to my brother a couple of times on our day, "God, it just feels so much like a wedding" and I didn't mean it as a good thing! Mostly it was wonderful, but I'm so with you on wanting less wedding-ness and more us-ness.

  11. Hi, I stumbled upon your blog and have enjoyed reading it. Your photos are beautiful.

    I really relate to this post and was a bride that didn't wear a veil, wore a red dress with a cream jacket over the top and gorgeous red shoes that I had made - complete extravagence!

    I wanted to look like me on my wedding day, not like someone dressed up. So I totally relate.



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