Tuesday, April 21, 2009

White Dresses and Small Regrets...

I don't really hold with regrets (I could pretend it's a philosophical approach to life but really I'm just too lazy and my attention span isn't long enough) but every time I see a short white dress I feel most uncomfortable that I succumbed to long, lacy, over-priced wedding dress. I like this one from French Connection. It makes me want to do the wedding again. (better)

I did like my dress, I loved it in fact. And our wedding was pretty good too. But I can't help but think that if we were planning it now it would be a very different and much more relaxed affair.

Is that bollocks though? Is it only looking back from the safe distance of eight months that makes wedding planning seem really not. that. difficult? That it really doesn't need to be that stressful, that organised, that efficient. That it could be pulled off in a matter of weeks with a matter of pennies and it would still be wonderful, better even?


  1. I feel like that sometimes too! I wouldn't change anything about our wedding, because it was perfect for us at the time. However now almost 2 years later, my tastes and opinions have changed a lot. Even though i love looking back at my pics etc, and do remember it as the best day, I think if we were planning it now it would be a much simpler affair! ha ha. That french connection dress is GORGEOUS isn't it?! xx

  2. Ha, I've been thinking about this a lot and this is my conclusion. Once you've had the wedding-wedding with the wedding-wedding dress et al, it's easy to say, who needs it?
    I'm trying to guide a friend into a much more fuss-free celebration but she's just not following me, BECAUSE SHE HASN'T HAD THE BIG DO YET.
    I also think that if I had to do it over it would be simple, simple, simple, but that's probably only because I've already lived out all my 'big white dress' fantasies. (It wasn't big but the price was!)

  3. This must happen to everyone because I've caught the bug as well. I would spend less on me, indulge my friends and family more, and come away smiling still.

  4. Yes dear, you are nuts. From someone in the middle of it: A) You don't want to do it again. B) You don't want to pay for it again. C) You always wish you did it smaller and simpler even when you are still doing it, and you say things like cancel the caterer we'll do it ourselves, and your fiance tears out a little more of his hair and says in a very tense voice, "You'll remember we discussed this and their is a reason we decided to do it this way." Etc.

    Enjoy married life. Wear a short dress to the pub. Don't envy those of us with a endless list of things that must be done JUST THIS WEEK that will eaither take loads of time and slowly strip of us of our sanity OR will involve writing checks that make us flinch.

    Is this helping it all come back to you? Are you secretly relived now that you are married already? That's what I thought.

  5. Totally agree. I sometimes feel like the whole wedding industry took over my brain. I've vowed to my husband that we'll throw a low key and intimate 5 year anniversary party.

  6. I don't think it's hindsight exactly, or only, that makes us have these thoughts. I think it's being married, having done it. If I did it all again but for the first time, I wouldn't do it differently. If I did it all again having done it once as I did, it would be utterly different. We just kinda have to do it how we do it as someone who's never done it. Now it's out of our systems, been accomplished, anything is possible.

    I mean... what Redframe, uh, Modalmental said... much more eloquently than me!

    (Love the dress, though.)

  7. That dress is gorgeous - but no regrets!! You had a beautiful wedding! You can always renew years down the road and do things differently!

  8. Oh holy toledo - this is an absolutely perfect dress. Short, sassy, beading, frothy bits -- and, I may just swipe it up for my own October NYC City Hall deal.

    Of course, I'm still trying on the big white dresses, but there's something about a kick ass short number with killer heals that is just too good to pass up!

    (I secretely want someone to say at a much later date "hot damn, mama had legs!")

  9. i look back 7 months later and think the same thing. it would be so different than it was. something completely different i think. so less stressful. and i too, would not have been sucked into the idea of the big, white dress (i have to say i loved yours though and you looked beautiful). but i plan to give this knowledge to my sister when it is her time and hopefully she will avoid some of my stressful times! i figure that's all i can do at this point.

  10. bollocks. though i do kind of wish i could have a little teeny wedding every year...


  11. No regrets!

    Besides, that dress is kind of disappointing up close. I fell for the picture a few months ago, but was most unimpressed when I tried it on...

    I think we should all just throw more parties in general. That's what my life needs for sure.

  12. You're not crazy! 6 months later and I have the same thoughts as well...

    Although I like were ESB is going....maybe we should start a vow renewal revolution and just plan a laid back, stress free, penny less kick ass party every few years or so....

  13. Your wedding + dress pics are totally in my inspiration folder! So, I'm clearly bias, but I don't think you should have changed a thing!

    xx A

  14. My husband and I eloped...I wore a white cotton sundress I bought the day before on a Macy's sale rack. And our day was perfect and just what we wanted! Everyone does what's right for them, and that's fine!

  15. It is a nice dress, but I think you think it is nice because you have already worn the *amazing* dress.

    Indeed, as A girl says "I think we should all just throw more parties in general. That's what my life needs for sure." I completely agree.

    Have a first anniversary party this summer and wear that dress.

  16. Your dress was amazing!

    We're getting married next year - have already bought The Dress from the monsoon sale (gorgeous, silk, lined, 50 quid), the do will be in a big rented old farmhouse beside a medieval castle in Fife and we're doing the food ourselves - just a cold buffet, hams, cheeses, salads... David Austin roses ordered online (old fashioned and scented) and maybe some flowers grown ourselves in pots, geraniums or hydrangeas. A fiddler for music and definately not too much fuss.

  17. I think as others : that you would do it differently because you have already done it.
    Right now, 2 weeks to go until the wedding, there are some choices I made at the beginning that I know would have been different if I had done them NOW (i.e, the photographer - maybe I would have splurged, like, making you cross the Channel ;-) -, the centerpieces, the invitations...). But I'm still happy with my choices !

    A friend is having her second wedding after a divorce, and she chose a very modern dress (http://www.suzanne-ermann.com/ : the one on the 1st page), short in the front... altogether different choices from her 1st wedding !

  18. I have a solution! Just get it in black. An LBD is appropriate for any occasion. Note to self: find or throw more fancy parties...


play nice.