Monday, July 22, 2013

grumble, arse.



hi.

That's about all I've got at the moment. It's hot and my arse is sweaty and Nye broke his collarbone and we have spent two weeks riding the gastric flu train and did I mention that my arse is sweaty and I'm grumpy?

I want so hard to be cheerful and summery and nice but fuck, I'm tried. Guys, two and eight months is hard. Two and eight months x 2 is really hard. If one more person tells me how the twins must be getting easier all the time I'm going to punch them. There was a time when they were getting easier, but it's past. I don't feel like detailing the ways in which they are driving me to exhaustion but let's just say I keep swearing off alcohol because I think it makes me fat and anxious, then it gets to 4pm and I think maybe I'll quit tomorrow. I never quit tomorrow. Oh and I heard that a young, happy, successful friend who get's to spend time with her husband is pregnant and although I assume that this was happy news for them my first thought was one of sympathy. That's not cool.

I don't regret having kids but Christ, sometimes I miss the rabbits.

Another day I'll tell you all the good things that are happening and how hilarious and sweet my kids are can be, but today: GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMPY SWEATY ARSE.






26 comments:

  1. My arse is sweaty too. I sweated most embarrassingly over my bike saddle the other day. It looked like I'd wet myself. So even this tropical chick will be grateful for slightly less tropical temps. Just *slightly*, but, you know. A dry arse crack would be nice.

    (Also, I'm drunk. CHEERS.)

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    1. Wow. When tropical types are complaining you KNOW it's too hot for a Scottish girl.

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  2. You are a refreshingly honest grump in a see of oppressively chipper mom-blogs. Thanks! I'll toast to your honour when I have my 4 pm cocktail.

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    1. 'A refreshingly honest grump' might need to be my new tagline.

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  3. Sending happy thoughts and gin to you and your sweaty arse.

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  4. I've often thought that a long weekend with a couple of teething toddlers, no alcohol, no shampoo (don't ask why) and crap tv dinners is ALL it would take to ward most people off having kids, marriage and most likely sex too... (esp if - in the background - someone has a sports channel on PERMANENTLY) - let's face it if you can somehow Harry Potter a bit of gastro, a couple of cracked nipples, sleep deprivation and a "chipper hubby" into that mix aswell - then you'd be sure to stop the human race in it's tracks.... it's tiny little toddler tracks.... grumble away baby. It's healthier than bottling it up. Oh and yes... punch the next s.o.b who says it gets easier - mine's 14 and the hairy moments are still coming thick and fast.... no pun intended. xx

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  5. Oh, lady. Hope you wake up feeling at least a tiny bit less tired tomorrow. And your arse is a lot less sweaty. Kellie x

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  6. Oh, that totally sucks that Nye broke his collar bone, I hope it knits soon! We just added some rabbits to our menagerie, at least with children you don't have to worry about them gnawing the furniture/carpet and eating wires...or do you?

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    1. No, you actually do. At least with mine, who never really got over meeting everything in world with his mouth first.

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    2. Yeah, you definitely do.

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  7. Oh god I feel like this and I don't have twins, or a broken husband or a sweaty arse. I have started drinking at 4pm also. Luckily it's just the one beer to get me through that hellfuck hour between 4.30-5.30. Why is it always so awful then? My kids are 9 and 6, they should be catatonic in front of Scooby Doo at that time like I used to be, but stupidly I've taught them to be creative, so now they just want to make and do loads of messy things when they're tired and hungry, and that's never going to end well, especially when I'm trying to cook tea. Sorry to gatecrash your moan but it feels nice and safe in here. I might never leave. Lets all rock and hum gently together. xxx

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    1. It's ALWAYS safe to moan here.

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  8. I have a 12 week old and people look at me funny when I say that all I want to do is go to a bar with adults and drink until I can't see straight.

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    1. 12 weeks was just about when I stopped wondering where my passport was and whether I could sneak out unnoticed.

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  9. I love this because, my god. Toddlers are hard work. I fantasise about getting sick enough to be hospitalised for a few days so that I can rest.

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    1. me too ! i think of the days i spent post-appendectomy VERY, VERY fondly. in fact, i'm fucking pissed that we only get ONE appendix, because it means i'll never get that procedure (AKA VACATION) again.

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  10. wishing you a cool and quiet day.

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  11. wishing you a quiet cool day

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  12. God I know this feeling. Although my 2 youngest are 5 and 6mths. Its the 8 & 5 yr olds that bicker all.the.damn.time. Making me want to hide in a dark corner with a bottle of southern comfort, lol!!

    Send happy thoughts! xx
    http://superbusymum.blogspot.co.uk/

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  13. I'm not a mum...so i cannot empathise, but i heart your blog. If it's any help...I am a grump today also, and it has nothing to do with 2 and eight months x 2, or gastro, or needing a glass of "medicine" at about 4pm (or 7pm by the time i get back from work) every afternoon.

    Days like that happen...and on days like that one is more than entitled to a grump and a glass of aforementioned medicine...so please, let it out, cause it may just make an equally grumpy grump halfway across the world smile (which by the way it did) and make their day a little brighter...

    So thanks...the sympathy is like a big, grumpy, medicine-fueled hug!

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  14. I totally know how you feel. Number three is 2.5 and as much as I love him he drives me absolutely crazy most of the time. Age 2-3 is the hardest year. I can't imagine having two kids that age. Well done you xx

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play nice.