Friday, April 25, 2014


Well, we survived Easter but only just. Our family desperately needs routine and the whole lot of us just kind of spiralled into a pit of despair without it. 

Apart from those first few weeks when they were completely confused by it, nursery (pre-school, whatever) has been the single best thing that has ever happened to W&P. Once they got over their fury with us that they weren't going every single day they settled into the 2.5 days a week and we did too. Then there was half-term but we had visitors so that passed without much notice, but Easter. Jesus (literally). Eighteen days with no nursery and some crazy notion that maybe Nye and I would take the time off working too, enjoy some 'family time' together. It was not good for us. Don't get me wrong, a few days was nice, but after two weeks of 

'is it nursery day?'
'no, it's still the holidays'
'What are we going to do?'
'have breakfast'
'What else?'
'get dressed'
'What else?' 
'do some baking'
'what else?'
'carry bricks'
'what else?'

Nye and I were both desperate and the girls were.... trying. 

One day I had to go into town for something and as I sat on the bus past St Pancras I kicked myself for not bringing my passport. When Nye went out mountain biking it crossed my mind that he might never come back, he had not one but two modes of transport, energy drinks and some body armour. He could go for days. 

Ammie's What Else's blurred seamlessly into The Whys whereas Ella's fizzled out into depression. Have you ever seen a three year old who is wearing her jacket, lying under her duvet and who needs to be coaxed out of bed to come and have breakfast? Me neither, until last week. 

Easter Sunday arrived and I realised too late that actually, yes, I might like to do this thing and spent the day in a depressive, egg-free funk. I went for a long walk in the pissing rain until I found a tesco express, where I bought a bag of mini eggs and a bottle of wine. I passed a funeral home with an Easter display in the window, I felt like they were offering more than they could possibly deliver. 

The next day, the last of the holidays, we managed to rouse ourselves to do our favourite thing, the one thing that unites us unfailingly - barbecue. Nye made kofta, I made bread and vegetable kebabs and he and the girls cooked them over flames in the back garden. Charred meat and bread drenched in olive oil made everything feel right with the world again. Even Ella, who subsists on a litre of porridge once a day, ate it. 

'is it nursery day tomorrow?' 

she asked half heartedly as we got ready for bed. 

'Yes! Yes it is!' 

Her grin was even bigger than it had been for dinner but not as big as mine. The next morning she didn't need to be coaxed out of bed, she leapt up like a jack-in-the-box. 

'Did you have a good holiday?' we were asked as we arrived with all of the other kids. I replied with a strained smile. They didn't need to know. 


  1. You're the best.

  2. This is the best post I've read. Just how I've felt for the past two weeks. You've strangely cheered me up. I'll be reading more - when I have time! x

  3. "I passed a funeral home with an Easter display in the window, I felt like they were offering more than they could possibly deliver." Gold. Write a book please?

  4. Your magic is how you convey despair so well, but at the same time make it sound so FUNNY.

    Now, bugger off despair. xx

  5. Oh my god. I love this blindingly.

  6. "I passed a funeral home with an Easter display in the window, I felt like they were offering more than they could possibly deliver."

    In best sentence ever written news...

  7. I used to love pre-school so much I also begged to go every day all day. My mom explained that was "only for kid's who's mom's worked" and I remember thinking "Well get a JOB then."

    Very compassionate. Clearly. Kid takes after me. Clearly.

  8. Eighteen days off for Easter?? And here I thought no one loved Jesus more than Americans.

    1. We only get friday and monday off as grown ups but kids get a two week easter holiday from school, and when you take into account that W&P only go 2.5 days a week anyway, it adds up to EIGHTEEN FUCKING DAYS.

  9. Eighteen days, ouch.

  10. <3

    and 18 days for Easter? our nursery was thankfully only shut the bank holidays. surely the whole point of a nursery is there for making working parents lives easier, not for elongated holidays?!

    1. See above reply to Celia.

    2. Is that because it's a school nursery? Wow, so thankful for mine only shutting 1 week of the year. Not sure how I'd cope with childcare otherwise. What happens in the summer, dare I ask?

  11. Funny!
    My daughter is 2 and in private nursery right now... when she starts at a school nursery in September, I am dreading the holidays slightly. Working from home too makes it an even more scary proposition.

  12. With regards to the post before this one….

    Whoop!! And another one on behalf of a whole lotta other bloggers who just can't manage to get past the spam word shittty thing… WHOOOOOOP!!

    You see whether you like it or not you're a celeb - and we the common peeps would kinda tear their hair, thrash and moan if you disappeared. Well actually we'd stalk your Instagram account checking it twice, maybe three times daily. When I spotted Jake Gyllenhall in New York (shameless name dropping and uncouth travel touting I know but bear with me) I thought "#@!?… thats' Jake Gyllenhaal!" and then I hid behind a bush. Just staring. Eventually I realised there were two other people behind the same bush - doing the same thing. All of us admiring Jake and there he was - painfully aware of the idiots behind the bush (it had no leaves on it for heavens sake) … and when I finally gave up the act I walked back to my hotel the whole while not feeling one bit of pity for Jake. Fact - he's awesome and that's the price you pay for fame.

    My point (apart from just letting everyone know I went to NYC and I still haven't come down from that cloud)

    Cara - you are like Jake. We behind the bush love you. Deal with it. :-)

    With regards to this post - hilarious & ever so familiar. In fact my son's school have kept a permission slip I signed a while back for a field trip to the zoo - apparently I added a footnote giving them permission to leave him there overnight… apparently. xx


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