Thursday, April 17, 2014

In the gutter.



This blog guys, I don't really know what to do with it. I kind of love it but it's becoming increasingly alien to me. I feel like maybe I should just admit that it's over, that we had some good times but that we're really ready to go in different directions - like my friend C went and did. I was kind of mad at her when she did it, how dare she break up with her blog/Me The Reader? But then today she wrote about her reasoning over at her new place and I thought 'shit, that's exactly what I want to do.' I mean, not *exactly*, I don't want to write about soup, (I'll eat it if you have any, but I don't want to write about it) but the breaking up part. I'm too chicken though.

Historically this blog has been where about 25% of our wedding photography work comes from and in these lean times when we're still bouncing back from moving the business 500 miles, it seems crazy to cut off any source of potential clients. And then there's this other um, thing, which I'm hesitant to even call a 'thing' because well, it's not really a Thing yet. I'm sort of maybe working on perhaps writing a book. And apparently the people who publish those book things are a whole lot more enthusiastic if you have 'a platform', ie a blog with readers and twitter followers and all that shit. Breaking up with the most established part of that platform at a time when even real writers who have published stuff struggled to get book deals seems a lot like the definition of Shooting Oneself in the Foot.

And so I remain in the limbo that I've been blogging/not-blogging in for about three years; wanting to write Proper Stuff but mired in a history of rambling about wedding decor and dogs on trampolines; knowing that my kids are my prime material but aware that they're getting bigger and bigger and less and less likely to want to be material; kind of interested in gardening and cooking and travel and knitting, but not really enough to write about any of it. And writing posts that start somewhere, or at least within sight of somewhere, and end absolutely nowhere at all.