Friday, June 06, 2014

monkeys, babies, creative blocks.



Everywhere around me people are having or are about to have babies and I had this lovely idea that I was going to knit something for them all. HA! The one that came first was the lucky one, he got all of my knitting mojo and then I decided that if I was going to put that much time into making something then it was going to be for me. I'm giving like that. So now I'm making myself a scarf, at the rate I'm knitting it should be finished by winter 2016.

I made the kid a monkey. Everyone I showed it to was surprised, the people who had seen my hot water bottle cover were the most so. "It looks like a monkey," they said. "An actual monkey." I took the opportunity to practise my modesty by quietly smiling and offering a demure shrug but inside I was shouting 'DAMN RIGHT it looks like a monkey motherfuckers.'

I really wanted to keep him, I'm not going to lie. But then I also really wanted to show off a) how much I care about the new baby and b) what a genius I am, so I packaged him up with a bottle of whiskey, some books, a set of ear plugs and some mini eggs and posted him off to be puked on and thrown in puddles.

We met the baby for the first time last week and he's kind of adorable. I spotted the monkey sitting on a shelf and I briefly considered stuffing it in my bag and taking it home but then I looked at the kid and I looked at the monkey and I looked at the kid again and he gave me this ridiculous, gummy, whole-face-creasing-up smile and I thought 'Fine, I suppose you can keep him. For now.' Then later, when he schnuzzled his nose into that gap between my boob and my armpit and fell fast asleep, I briefly considered sticking him in my bag instead; the kid for the monkey seemed like a fair swap. Then I remembered that I'm done with babies. They're nice and all that, but I'm done.

Sometimes when I'm feeling creatively stuck (all the time at the moment), when my photographs don't look right and my words come in the wrong order, if at all, I have this urge to make another baby. If you like making stuff, objects, then babies are pretty fulfilling. While it can be a pain in the ass getting the project off the ground, once it's ticking away you don't need to put much work in. The end product is, from a technical point of view, likely the most impressive thing you will ever make from two ingredients. Spending time with an actual baby helps to add a little perspective to that genius idea though, helps to remind you that while you might end up with a very nicely constructed craft project, the end result is a bit more of a commitment than the photos your struggling with or the words that just won't come.

I think that maybe I need to learnt to sew. Clothes seem like the next most impressing thing you can make, after people. Then again, maybe I should just stick with the photos and the words, as infuriating as they both are. I stuck the kids out from two and a half through to three and a half and they seem to have come out the other side of that shit-fest (literally) of a year so maybe the words and photos will too.



19 comments:

  1. bah sewing.

    just pls keep on writing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm trying. You sew don't you? Ammie is still waiting for the leather pants you promised her when she was born.

      Delete
  2. Ditto above - this is such a good post

    ReplyDelete
  3. <3 Perfect.

    Sewing is overrated. I've been doing it since childhood. It's mostly measuring and ironing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, but you get clothes that fit you at the end of it. That you made yourself. That's almost as impressive as a baby.

      Delete
  4. You make amazing monkeys. As for creative sticking, your stuck looks like most people's groove. Maybe remembering that might help just a little bit?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lovely post - you should have a column ...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bah those humbugs - sewing's fun! Albeit somewhat tedious, and a bit of a precision sport. But your words and pictures are pretty impressive as they are, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm, I'm clearly failing at everything in my life that is tedious, I'm not sure I need another thing.

      Delete
  7. Just to say, I loved reading your post. It was funnny, smart, and tons of other nice words that I don't know how to say in english.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I don't mind if you write me words that are not in English, I will trust you that they are nice.

      Delete
  8. I enjoy sewing and sew almost everyday. But remember, it is another creative endeavor that has blocks, needs patience, there are time you wish to throw it against the wall, even though you have made the pattern you created 20 times something this time just did not work right. But I do enjoy sewing. :)

    I find writing harder and you do such a lovely job. You say things every parent feels in a way that is warm and funny. And I find the energy short people take, especially those who live with you, has a tendency to suck all the creativity out of you for a minimum of the first ten years of their lives.

    Keep writing please! And taking the lovely pictures.

    blessings,

    elizabeyta

    ReplyDelete
  9. (picture sloooow motion woman running toward you with a basket full of condoms) Noooooooooo!!
    Don't have any more babies! We just looked after my nieces for the weekend. Oh my lord. It was FULL.ON.

    It drove all the clucky right out... right out!

    But talk to me in about two weeks - it'll probably be back.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I loved the paragraph about babies being a craft project from two ingredients. I loved the whole post to be honest but that bit just had me giggling and going yep, I'm definitely waiting.

    ReplyDelete

play nice.