Sunday, November 29, 2015

Scotland, pros and cons



pro: You can buy paracetamol in the supermarket, in fact you can buy paracetamol everywhere.*

con; I have been wearing at least one pair of tights every day for six weeks, more often two. 

pro: Coffee in British cafes does not taste like burned soil. 

con; Tinned tomatoes taste more like tin than tomato.

pro; The words boak, bogging, minging. 

con; When I accidentally mutter 'Ce n'est pas bon' under my breath I no longer sound like a trier, I sound like a twat.

pro; I have 'cultural knowledge', like how to open a tube of toothpaste and what number to call in an emergency. 

con; Other than hands or faces, I haven't seen my own or my kids skin for six weeks. This will only continue. 

pro; Knowing (generally) why people are laughing in my presence

con; It costs what would once buy me a week's worth of wine to come by one bottle that is at all drinkable

pro; Weather that changes, dramatically and often. 

con;  I will have to leave the country to eat a ripe apricot.

pro; Prescriptions! They're free! Totally, completely free. 

con; When I was either my hair or my clothes it's a very real concern that they may still be wet in a week's time. 





* I can't believe I've been blogging here for almost 9 years and I've never told you my favourite joke. . . Why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots ate 'em all. My husband thinks it's terrible but he's wrong. 


*image from Fornasetti, it's a plate that I really want but I can't spend £125 on a plate because I'm not allowed nice things that can't withstand being dropped, banged, accidentally hurled across the room etc, etc.


17 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you. Tell my husband.

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  2. I am following your return to Scottland very closely; before your France journey I told you, we are planning to leave Berlin too. We haven't yet, because the summer was very different, but it is Scottland wer are aiming at...

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    Replies
    1. That's exciting! I look forward to hearing how your plans pan out.

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    2. ps, Scotland is excellent.

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  3. So basically global warming is a tragedy but it will make North Uist the best place to live in the whole world?

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    Replies
    1. Not so much, Uist is basically disappearing under rising water and being battered to death by worsening storms, it's pretty apocalyptic!

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  4. Switch to whiskey. A lot more bang for your buck.

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  5. You can't get paracetamol everywhere in France? That seems crazy. I'm jealous about your free prescriptions, as ever. Accidentally hurled across the room should be a survival test for anything I buy...

    (You are hilarious.)

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    Replies
    1. Nope, just in pharmacies and just by *asking* for it, IN FRENCH. It sucked.

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  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. I love this and shall produce it during Andy's next round of 'maybe we should move back to Scotland' dialogue!

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    Replies
    1. ha! is he for or against?!

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  8. Hmmm good question. We both chop and change but he's mainly for and I'm mainly against ... I think! Happy new year to you x

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play nice.